Look Again!!!

The ability to see is of the most basic senses that we oftentimes take for granted. Throughout most of my adult life, I had been dealing with an issue where I would have to squint in order to clearly read something, whether it was far or near.  For the longest time, I had attributed it to just simply being in front of a computer screen for extended amounts of time.  It wasn't until earlier this year when I finally went to see the optometrist.

Let's keep in mind that the last time I had an eye exam, I believe I was in the 5th grade. That's a story for another day...But I went through all the testing and immediately the lady confirmed to me that I had Astigmatism (I always thought she said "a stigmatism" until I actually researched the term).

Ever since that day back in February, for the first time in my life I have had to wear eye glasses.  It took me awhile to adjust to them, mainly when it came to approaching steps and whatnot, but my body did finally get used to them.  The doctor was amazed that I had gone this long without having glasses and encouraged me to stay up on my optical health. I thought I was going blind until the doctor more descriptively described to me what it is.

Astigmatism is a common vision condition that causes blurred vision. It occurs when the cornea (the clear front cover of the eye) is irregularly shaped or sometimes because of the curvature of the lens inside the eye. An irregularly shaped cornea or lens prevents light from focusing properly on the retina, the light-sensitive surface at the back of the eye. As a result, vision becomes blurred at any distance.

Source: American Optometric Association (http://www.aoa.org)

So basically what I get from this is that this condition is that an irregularly shaped cornea will affect one's ability to focus on the light that's seeking to come in.  When I look at the word "Light," I immediately equate it with "Truth."

When it comes to our various circumstances, what exactly are we focusing on? I used to be the person who would beat myself up over the not-so-good decisions I had made over my life.  But instead of allowing multiple focal points to enter my periphery, I have learned to just focus on one thing, and that's the lessons learned and the wisdom gained.  I would not be who I am right now without the mistakes I had made.  The last three years of my life have been the most painful and difficult to endure, but I'm still here and stronger than ever before.

We have to get to a point where no longer allow our past and/or present positioning no defines us.    Whenever people try to trap you inside a realm of guilt in regards to where you are in life, Look Again and see where you truly are.  Nobody but you truly knows all you've had to go through just to stay alive and survive those storms.  In this season of Thanksgiving, if there's nothing else to be thankful for, please be grateful that you're still here.  I don't care what your present condition is, I encourage you to take another look and just focus on the good that's about to come out of it.

Just like when I first got glasses, it took me awhile to adjust to the fact that I wasn't as great as I had once thought I was.  While it was a humbling experience, that introspection was necessary towards evolving to the level of maturity and wisdom I have today.  Sometimes we suffer from false illusions of ourselves.  We are not as horrible as we think and for many of us, we aren't as great as we feel we are either.  

I encourage you to join me in constantly seeking within yourself, carefully examining to see what it'll truly take for you to heal from whatever condition ails you.  Our daily process will never be complete, but you'll begin to see the results sooner than you think.  I believe in you...I don't care what the situation is, you've got this!

Deviation from Aviation

Deviate

• to turn aside, as from a route, way, course, etc.
• to depart or swerve, as from a procedure, course of action, or acceptable norm.
• to digress, as from a line of thought or reasoning. 

Aviation 

• the design, development, production, operation and use of aircraft, especially heavier-than-air aircraft. 

Flight

• a scheduled trip by way of airplane
• a soaring above or transcending ordinary bounds

Just the other day, I had to go to Pittsburgh International Airport to get my grandmother after her weeklong trip to Florida had concluded.  As I was driving on the turnpike, I couldn't help but think about a previous experience I had on that very road. I can recall being about 14 or 15 years old when one of my cousins had to drive me to that very airport.  The scenario was basically my grandparents had to drive down to Florida for a revival my grandfather was preaching for.  I had to stay behind due to a mandated school activity that I just could not afford to miss.  I had to get to Florida and I was not old enough to drive yet, so that meant I had to catch a flight down there. 

As my cousin and I drove to the airport, she could see that I was visibly shaking nonstop.  I had been on a plane several times, but never had I flown by myself.   I had to go from Pittsburgh to Charlotte, NC. Then from Charlotte to Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  What happens if I miss the connecting flight? What about if I get on the airplane and I have extreme ear aches like previous times and Grandma's not there to soothe the pain? I'm still a kid so it's not too far-fetched to wonder what if someone tries to kidnap me or even worse... As all of these thoughts (and many more) are running through my head, my cousin grabbed my hand and told me this: 

"If you don't ever remember anything else I tell you, remember this.  Anytime you are very nervous, just keep reciting the 23rd Psalm to yourself over and over and over, and watch the nervousness leave."

The more I began to say these beloved words, I can recall a peace coming over me that I cannot even begin to explain.  All the tension and anxiety left my body, and I hugged my cousin goodbye, I ended up walking into the airport with my chest out a little and had amazing flights to my destination.  

Many times, whenever we want to soar and achieve things on a high level, there are things that are keeping us low.  The main culprit of our lack of elevation tend to be the words "What if...?"I know in my own personal life, there are so many dreams and goals I have, yet what is it that's truly keeping me from reaching them?  Yes, there are circumstances beyond my control that have come up.  Are there people who have sabotaged certain areas of my life in order to hold me back? No doubt that's been the case in several instances.  Yet, it has been my fault for giving people and circumstances the authority to dictate the direction of my life. 

As for whoever is reading this.  It's time out for us blaming everyone else for the position we are in, when in fact we possess the power to bring ourselves out of it.  Here's a story of an observation I had with a good friend of mine and her dog.

Whenever it was time for the dog to go to sleep or what have you, she would put him in his cage and leave the door unlocked.  He would bark and beg to be set free but pretty much all he had to do was push the door just a little bit and it would be open, resulting in his freedom. 

The same holds true for us.  You've been bound for so long but this is the season where all you have to do is push forward just a little bit further, which will result in you being free. Things like anxiety, depression, debt, family/relationship issues, and other restraining vices are nothing but a cage we tend to place ourselves in.  We are waiting for someone to come with the key (magic solution) to set us free, when in fact the entire time, we have possessed the power within ourselves.

All in all, whenever we do tend to stray away, we have a good Shepherd who doesn't mind cracking us over the head with the rod and staff to get us back where we need to be.  We get ourselves into immediate danger only when we decide to go our own course versus just following His.  Today is the day to be free from those things that are continually keeping you from flight.  You may have to drop some unnecessary weight (friends, some family, addictions, etc.) in order to get your plane off of the ground.  

I am on the runway right now and I don't intend on slowing down for anyone.  As long as the good Lord Himself is the pilot, I won't have anything to worry about.  One thing about Him is He'll never lock you out of the cockpit. Anytime you want to take the reins, He'll oblige but I for one am done trying to do things on my own anymore.  I look forward to the journey that's ahead and reaching newer and higher heights day after day. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come for all of us.

Fall Risk

Fall -

• to drop of descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support
• to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position
• to succumb to temptation or sin, especially to become unchaste or to lose one's innocence
• to collapse, as through weakness, damage, poor construction, or the like, topple or sink

 

Risk -

• exposure to the chance of injury or loss
• the hazard or chance of loss
• (origin) Riscare - latin word meaning "run into danger"

 

It has been a little while since I have last posted on this blog.  I had no idea how prophetic the previous post (Needing a Kneading) would be in regards to what would come my way in the following days.  I can honestly say I have been stretched and tried to the point I don't know if I can possibly bend anymore.  I won't go into details as to what has been going on in my life, but just know that I am truly learning so much and aiming to gain wisdom from each experience.

 

I saw the above picture on someone's Facebook page a few days ago and it caused me to think on a few things.  I can remember when my late grandfather would be in the hospital, he was tagged as "Fall Risk" and needed special care/attention.  I can recall that he was not permitted to walk or move anywhere without supervision of one of the healthcare professionals.  Below is a brief description of some of the factors that lead to one being considered "Fall Risk"

 

(Source: cdc.gov)

 

As much as I would love to do them all, there are just a few of the points I want to expound upon that we can apply to our own lives.  I know for a fact that some of them have applied to me in the past and I look forward to reversing this trend in my own life!

 

Poor Vision:

 

Scripture illustrates to us that "without a vision, the people perish."  How far are you able to see ahead of your life?  Do you have a plan in place for the next 5 years, or are you just trying to decipher how you are going to make it to tomorrow?  It's amazing how life's circumstances can come to distract us from what we have been purposed on this earth to do.  Whether it's a car breaking down on you out of nowhere, bills galore, phone accidently falling in the toilet resulting in no mobile cellular service for the forseeable future, or just the most absolute flukish things happening, (yup, that basically describes the last month or so for your boy lol) you have the ability to see past that.

 

Before a horse race, they are equipped with blinders to help them not concentrate on anything except for that which is in front of them.  In life we have to put on our own blinders to all the dumb stuff that tend to happen and stay focused on what's ahead of us, regardless of what comes our way.

 

Difficulties with Gait and Balance:

 

Gait is basically a manner of walking, stepping or running.  Many of us lack true balance in our lives and that can also lead to us falling.  I know for a fact my lack of the ability to balance things in my life caused me to lose out on so much the last few years.  I feel we are all created with the innate desire to want to be everywhere at the same time. Yet, we sometimes have to be humbled in order to come to the mortal conclusion that we are human and there are limits to what we are able to do all at once. 

 

Home Hazards

 

Many of us are at risk of falling because we don't have things in order within our own homes.  That can be your actual household, relationship or even the unhealthy friendships we all tend to enter here and there.  One has to come to the place in their life where if someone is not helping them reach their purpose and destiny, there's no further reason for that individual to be in their life. Some of our relationships are the thing that's weighing us down and keeping us from the great things that are in store for us.

 

Postural Dizziness

 

When was the last time that you actually stood firm for what you believed in?  A lot of us claim that we feel a certain way about something or promise ourselves that we will never end up in the same situation again, yet we end up falling again.  We have to find the inner strength and gumption to stand tall on what we believe and not waver to the left or the right.  Unless a house is built on a solid foundation, it will fall whenever a storm come.  During a hurricane, which is more likely to survive? A Christmas tree or a palm tree?  The palm tree may bend, but it will not break.  Whereas the Christmas tree will be blown away, along with its' many decorations.  Too many of us are too consumed on how we appear to others, but lack taking time to establish the roots beneath us to help us survive everything that comes our way. 

 

In closing, I am tired of falling and have made it a personal goal to never be in this situation again.  I welcome whomever is in a similar situation right now to do the same thing.  Our lives and sanity truly depend on it.  I am faithful that the victory ahead of us will make everything that we've gone through so worth it.  Yes, many of our hardships may be from our own knuckleheaded decisions, but we have the ability to bounce back and move foward.  You may have fallen down and feel there's no hope for tomorrow, but get up and get back into the fight.  There are so many people depending on you to fulfill your purpose!  This is a season of restoration and rebuilding for so many of us.  However, it's not going to come to full fruition without a fight.  I am willing to fight back, who's with me?

 

Needing a Kneading

Need

1. a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation
2. a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary
3. a necessity arising from the circumstances of a situation or case 

Knead

1. to work (dough, clay, etc.) into a uniform mixture by pressing, folding and stretching
2. to manipulate by similar movements, as the body in a massage

I don't know about anyone else, but life has a peculiar way of absolutely humbling us.  I can honestly say my life has been quite the journey over the past few years.  From losing basically everything, to enduring the literal fight for survival, it can be said I have overcome a lot.  I am aware that there are people out there who may have it much more worse than I, and it's for that reason I do my best not to ever complain.

If we are completely honest, we have all come to that crucial stage where we ask ourselves or "What the .... else can possibly happen?" I know I asked myself that question within the past several days, and yet I ended up coming to one conclusion......There has to be a purpose for all the trials that we go through! Yes, there are times that seems like the easiest answer to give when someone is going through, but there has to be some level of truth to it right?  Then a certain revelation came to me.....While I was concerned about what I felt I needed, I was in the process of actually being kneaded!

The video below explains in great detail the "kneading" process...

Here are the main highlights:

• The purpose of it is to mix the necessary ingredients (flour and water) in order to add strength to the final product.  
• The process warms and stretches the dough, which in turn causes it to become springy and elastic.  If it's not stretched enough, it will not be able to hold the gasses and particles caused by the yeast.  If this takes place, the dough will collapse, leaving it heavy, dense and it's basically useless.
• At the conclusion of the kneading process is when yeast is applied, which is when the dough can begin to RISE (the technical term is "prove")
• Once the dough has been proved, it still has to endure another process where it's knocked and punched down, which removes any large air pockets which have formed in the dough.  The way to tell if the dough has been finished is when you are able to poke it and the texture bounces back to its' original form.

Life has a way of putting us through a similar process.  So many of us know what it is to have been seemingly tossed all over the place.  We have experienced being emotionally punched and dragged all over the place.  When it comes to our finances, we may have been knocked and punched down and left in a state where things look bleak.  It could even be sickness in our bodies and the doctors giving us a not-so-good prognosis.  Yet there is a method behind all of the madness.  We cannot truly RISE until we have experienced the entire process.

I don't know who this is for, but please don't give up during this fight of and for your life.  You may be wanting to know why this all is happening to you and when it will be all over, but we must recognized this process is necessary.  We truly need to be kneaded so that everything that shouldn't be in us is able to leave, which in turn will cause us to be in the position to rise. 

One of the most powerful aspects of this is that you will finally get to the point where when you are punched or poked and will be able to bounce back from it.  You thought you were strong before, but life has away of revealing our true strength.  Just like lifting weights, in order for our muscles to increase strength, they must be stretched to their furthest limits.  

Similarly, kneading takes place when one receives a massage on a region of the body.  When one does the kneading process on the muscles, it releases the toxins and everything that's within them.  They say the best sign to know you have received a great massage is if you have to use the restroom.  Life also has a way of kneading out the things that are causing harm to us.  

This is definitely the season where you will bounce back and in turn be able to conquer those things that at one time held you down.  Even when you were at your lowest point, that was only the beginning of one of the greatest comebacks known to mankind!

Finally, once the kneading and every other test has taken place, the dough is then placed in a hot oven.  Every instance someone lie on you, treat you like a pure dog, or do any other manner of evil against you, do not shrink into the role of a victim.  Just keep enduring the heat because it's only after then you will come out as a pure and perfect product.  I believe in you and your ability to overcome any obstacle set in your way.

Love's Manifesto

Love
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend. 

Manifesto
a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, as one issued by a government, sovereign, or organization

From the moment we were conceived, we have been involved in the ultimate fight of our lives.  Millions of sperm cells rapidly escaped your father's loins, with you being the strongest one...yet for what purpose?  Included in the first moments you were in your mother's womb and the initial moment she held you in her arms arms was an ardent desire to feel this great phenomenon that you just can not escape.  From our adolescent and impressionable teenage years to whatever point of adulthood we now face, we have been in this one fight that we will never avoid......To be loved

*cue Prince Akeem singing "To be loved" after his first date with Lisa (Coming to America reference)*

I can recall this one specific day in the 2nd grade that I will never forget.  I was sitting there doing the assignment and eating a sprinkled donut, which was rewarded to us for good behavior.  I received a tap on my shoulder and was subsequently handed a note.  I was given a note from this young lady (who shall remain nameless...shoot she may be reading this) who at that time was the cutest girl I had ever seen in my life.  I opened the note and it read something to the effect of this:

I can recall the temporary state of paralysis that had overtaken my entire being.  My school work looked like it was written in Chinese, while my teacher and the subsequent chatter surrounding me sounded the adults Charlie Brown's (Peanuts) instructor.  What was this feeling I was experiencing?  How in the world was this girl able to just shut down my entire world with one note? I remember keeping the note for a little while, but to this day, I never really answered her.

That was my first experience where I found myself desiring the affection of someone who was outside of my family.  From that point forward, I found myself trying to gain some measure of acceptance from my peers.  I was always the oddball of the group and never was really viewed as one of the cool kids.  As the years went by, I stopped showing interest in various girls because my offers always got shot down.

Move forward to April 4, 2000 @ 11:58 a.m. (EST) when I made the most life-impacting decision in my history (at that point) and decided to give into my innermost carnal desires.  With her and the numerous women that followed thereafter, I was still in a constant search for that one thing...My interesting dating history and eventual marital experience all revolved in a feverous search of a treasure I just seem to have not been able to discover yet...

There's no doubt in my mind that we all desire to be loved, but yet what happens when we fall victim to being held captive by that desire?  I am willing to bet that some of the absolute WORST decisions that have been made in many of our lives was because of the fervent desire to be loved.

Love has the tendency to hold us within the prison cell of our hearts, while offering up our morals and standards as a ransom.  I can recall instances in my life where I did some things I said I would never do all in the name of being accepted.  But how do we break free?

This is one instance where I really do not have the specific answer, but I am just going to throw some things out there that may work:

1. You must first love yourself

What sense does it make to attempt giving someone our all, when we can't even stand the very sight of our own reflection?  This is probably the one attribute that has impaired my past relationships.  I think it's virtually impossible to love someone else while possessing turmoil within us.  We are only deceiving ourselves.

2. Don't be so quick to "fall in love" 

My grandfather taught me years back to never fall in love.  He said that whenever someone falls, they end up getting hurt.  I look at it as when we fall, we have no control of where we land or even the level of impact we will make with the spot we land on.  I feel we have to learn how to truly walk in love and be mature while doing so.

3. Love is not blind

I'm sure many of us can recall an experience where we entered into a serious relationship with someone we barely knew and professed it as being love.  Neurobiological studies show that the passion of love create feelings of euphoria and exhilaration.  It further states that the areas that are activated in response to romantic feelings coincide with the areas of the brain associated with reward, desire, addiction and once again euphoric states.  It's the release of dopamine that puts us in that feel-good state (this is where the term "dope" comes from, since cocaine contain high levels of dopamine and has that very effect on the body)

Love has to become more than just a momentary fix, but rather an intentional and intelligent decision that's made.  Love is truly a person that has to continually be nurtured and matured in our lives.  When love is present while lacking knowledge and maturity, that's when it becomes lust.  Lust goes deeper than just desiring sex.  It's mainly a passionate or overwhelming desire or craving.  Most of the time, many people lust for acceptance and attention and love is just the way they disguise it.

4.  Love is intentional 

I've learned the hard way that love takes time and effort into making it grow.  My grandmother taught me that love and marriage is not a vacation, but rather a vocation.  We really have to work towards truly nurturing and cultivating our relationships.  The same hold true with our friendships.  We have to grow past the point where we love in just word, but our deeds have to match as well.  Consistency is the best determinant as to if someone truly loves you unconditionally.

5.  Love is not controlling

There are many who have been in relationships where one of the parties have tried to have full control over the other.  From patrolling the messages that are in one's phone, to monitoring every single post that comes across their Facebook page, to having full control and autonomy over the friends that you are "allowed" to have.  I am not sure who would want to live in a prison like that.  There has to be true trust and respect involved to the level that all the person's fears can be alleviated.  If manipulation and blackmail are staples in your relationship, that cannot be healthy at all for you.  If great sex is all your partner can offer, or if that is what they primarily use to influence you and your decisions, is that really healthy for you?

My name is not Tony Gaskins and I am far from a relationship expert.  However, I am one who believes in having another opportunity to get it right.  This is probably the hardest subject matter I have been able to write about because I am still trying to find out what all entails properly going on this journey.  I'm excited about the prospects of love in the future.  Am I ready for love?  I think so, yet there are so many more opportunities I need to grow first.  I think we all can honestly say the same thing in so many areas of our own lives....

Feel free to share your thoughts below, for I definitely need feedback on this topic.

Irreconciliable Differences

As I sit here and write this, I am literally counting down the end to my 31st year of life.  It's safe to say that this has literally been the worst 365-day interval my life has ever experienced.  I won't go into details because it would be a waste of time to even recount the various instances where heartbreak and broken promises seemingly became a daily norm.  I am not one who enjoy being the guest-of-honor at pity parties, and this will definitely not be one of those posts where the entire "Woe is me" phenomenon takes place...It's actually quite the opposite.

The tears of utter frustration and the bitter feeling of failure seemingly just tried to overwhelm me.  Yet, I was able to fight back and not succumb to them.  I think we are oftentimes stuck in a gap of time where we are not sure what exact state is.  It's the battle of who we know we are versus what our current conditions are...

Perception (Perceive) 

• to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses
• to recognize, discern, envision or understand.

Reality 

• something that exists independently of ideas concerning it, and of all other things from which they derive

I look at Perception and Reality in terms of a married couple within us.  For sake of argument and my own interpretation, we will cast perception in the female sense and reality as a male...  

Perception deals more with the mental interpretation of who you are and whatever circumstance you are in.  Reality deals with the facts that are laid out before us in black and white.  

Perception is the defense lawyer in the courtroom who relies on circumstantial evidence in an attempt to ensure their client's acquittal.  Reality is the prosecutor, who has bags and bags of evidence laid out on the table, along with various charts attempting to prove your guilt.

The question in my mind is what happens when both sides are actually correct?  Here's the evidence in my own life (I don't mind being transparent).

I am perceived to be bright, intelligent, gifted in various aspects, well-spoken, respectful towards everyone around me, and so giving to the point where I've set back my own life in order to ensure someone else made it through a difficult situation...

Reality states that I've been struggling to find a good sufficient and sustaining career path, I do not have a degree, I've lost just about everything that was precious to me, I'm living with family until I get back on my feet, a non-ending fight with depression, a fear of rejection...and the list goes on.

In my mind, the fact of the matter is Mr. Reality and Mrs. Perception are once again both correct.  But as you can see there are so many differences in opinion.  The easiest thing is to let them go their separate ways and file for emotional and internal divorce, but we cannot let that happen.  The question is how can we remarry the two so that the individual isn't left in limbo and being pulled in two separate directions.  Why place ourselves in a position to need cognitive child support...These are differences that can in fact be reconciled to help one fulfill the purpose in their life.

To me, the answer is to simply take absolute control of your life.  That begins with taking full responsibility for all past transgressions and bad decisions (versus blaming everyone else) and like the previous post ("What That Mouth Do") illustrated, continually speak positive things into yourself.  I believe that we can sometimes make our internal battle much larger than it actually has to be.  If we are not careful we can either allow ourselves to fall into an unnecessary abyss when things aren't going so well.  Conversely, we can allow ourselves to fall into a false sense of security when things are seemingly going right.

Proper prospective is everything.  Things are not as bad as they may seem.  You are more than likely more close to breaking through than you really realize.  Why turn back now?  You've come too far to give up.  Keep hacking at your dreams...Hell, keep dreaming!  At the same time, have a plan in place to make ensure your dreams in fact become reality.  One thing about perception and reality is that we have the ability to change both!

Oh by the way, it's my birthday now!  What better day to start rekindling the fire than today? 

What That Mouth Do?

Here are some interesting facts about the mouth:

• The average person in western civilization eats up to 50 tons of food and drink 11,000 gallons of liquid during their lifetime.
• It takes food an average of seven seconds to go from the mouth to the stomach
• A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 100 mph
• The mouth contains various objects such as your teeth, uvula (the dangling thing at the back of your throat) and the palate (roof of the mouth)
• Three pairs of salivary glands are in your mouth.  They are responsible for putting saliva in your mouth.  That helps to lubricate your food, as well as contain the enzymes that break down your food before they get to your stomach.
• Humans have unique tongue prints, just like we all have different fingerprints.
• Relative to its size, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body, and it is also the only muscle that is attached on only one end.    (source: softschools.com) 

Now I know quite a few of my peers saw the original subject and their minds possibly went to a certain place.  I may even get a few raised eyebrows by even the very thought of it, but hey, I'm grown! As amazing as some good ol' fashioned "WTMD" is, I want to concentrate on the opposite end of the spectrum and concentrate more on what I have determined is the the ultimate weapon of mass destruction....Our words

If we all knew how powerful our words were, we would be more careful and selective in what we would allow to escape our mouths.  I am quite sure many of us have fallen victim to some of the most cruel words in the human language.  I know I have.  Growing up, I was always picked on for being the skinny kid with the big head.  The kids in school said the only reason I was smart was because I had extra room in the back of my head for my brain.  

In a book entitled "Words Can Change Your Brain" (written by Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman), they write the following:

"A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress."

They say that positive words, such as "peace" and "love" can alter the expression of genes, strengthening areas in our frontal lobes and promoting the brain's cognitive functioning.  However, hostile language can disrupt specific genes that play a key part in the production of neurochemicals that protect us from stress.  We as humans are hardwired to worry because an integral part of our brain's function is to protect us from any threat to our survival.

However, a single negative word can increase the activity in our amygdala (the fear center of the brain). This releases dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters, which in turn interrupt our brain's functioning.  Newberg and Waldman further writes that "Angry words send alarm messages through the brain, and they partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes."

Below is what they contend as to how using the right words can transform our reality...

"By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind, you stimulate frontal lobe activity.  This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action.  And as our research has shown, the longer you concentrate on positive words, the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain. Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with.   

A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt.  Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality."

(Source: psychcentral.com)

So for those who didn't feel like reading everything above (lol), here is a brief synopsis of what we have learned so far...

• Relative to its size, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body
• Humans have unique tongue prints, just like we have different fingerprints.
• One single word has the power to influence the genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.
• How you view yourself is reflected in the way you look at and treat others

The reason why so many of us are stressed out and miserable is because of the words that we choose to focus on.  In the world of social media, it is quite common to see some of the most venomous interactions between people.  In our own personal lives, we have the tendency to beat our inner man/woman down, versus encouraging and lifting ourselves up.  It's powerful how just ONE WORD is able to dictate your entire mood and focus.  ONE WORD...just let that sink in a little.

How are you using your words?  What are your conversations like with other people?  Are you an expert at building people up?  Or are you an absolute wizard at tearing them down?  The reason why many people have the ability to tear people down so easily is because they themselves are so miserable within.  The kids who picked on my big head and skinny body were trying to mask their own insufficiencies and chose to focus on what they saw as shortcomings. 

Let us be more mindful of the words that we allow to escape our lips.  The attempt of taking back our words is just as hard and meaningless as trying to put toothpaste back in its original tube.  

Our ultimate healing will happen within ourselves.  If it seems like nothing is going right, you may have to look at how you view yourself.  We are all at an age where what anyone thinks about us should be the furthest thing we should be concerned about.  Walk in front of the mirror and just speak positive things into your own life.  

You are smart...you are beautiful...there is nobody on this earth who can be you better than you can...You will be successful...You are a walking and breathing millionaire...You don't have to be second-place to anyone or anything...

You've got this...just keep speaking it!