Defying Circumstantial Evidence

Circumstantial Evidence 

Information and testimony presented by a party in a civil or criminal action that permit conclusions that indirectly establish theexistence or nonexistence of a fact or event that the party seeks to prove.

There are many instances where we feel like life has a twisted sense of humor, resulting in us being the butt of the joke.  There are many instances where it seems as if the odds are continually stacked against us.  It's during this time where it's so easy for us to allow our present condition(s) to define us.

I have been reflecting over the last couple years of my life and the journey that I have experienced. While I am blessed to be exactly two weeks away from my 32nd birthday, one question seems to remain..."What exactly have I accomplished?"

I am blessed to be a father to the two most beautiful little girls on the planet.  The Heavenly Father above saw fit to allow me to be birthed into the most amazing family that one could ever have.  I would like to think I have made a positive impact on many of those I have come in contact with.  I would venture to say I am an intelligent young man and have a bright future ahead of me.  I have several gifts and just about anything I put my full effort into ends up being a success.  Yet, at the end of the day, what do I have to show for it?

My present circumstances are attempting to define me as a waste of time and talent.  I'm man enough to admit that some of them are due to bad decisions from my past.  These conditions seek to oftentimes say that I'm just going to be another statistic of those who have underachieved. There are several instances where it seemed as if when I take one step forward, some force of nature blows up the entire staircase.

As I stated in previous entries, we all have to come to a place where we refuse to be a victim and look for the lessons within each stage in life we are in.  It is interesting how difficult seasons are required in order to humble us and make us appreciate the good times even more.  It's seemingly like the area where you think you are the strongest are the very one that gets hit the hardest.

We all have naysayers in our lives who are quick to point to the evidence in our lives in order to assume some type of control over us.  Many times, they are only attempting to mask the flaws that are occurring in their own lives.  No matter how much evidence that may have stacked against you, do not allow anyone (especially yourself) to cast a guilty verdict upon you.  There is so much greatness and promise within you.  There are lives that are waiting on you to get your life together...No matter what your present situation is, you have the ability to conquer it.  All the power you need is embedded deep within you...You can and will do this!

"I am not innocent by any means...But I am not guilty either..."

Copyright Infringement

One of the greatest and most controversial mysteries known to man is who or what was behind the conception of this great planet of which we live? In spite of whatever your individual religious or educated belief may be, there is one thing cannot be disputed.  Out of all the trillions and gazillions of people to ever walk the face of the earth, there was never evidence that there existed two identical people.  One of the most common ways of keeping record of our identities is by use of our fingerprints.  If you were to look at your hand and any of your fingertips, the design seems pretty simple.  Yet, there has never been found a case of two complete identical fingerprints. 

A few months ago, I was at my church in Youngstown, Ohio (Victory Christian Center - Liberty Campus...shoutout to Pastor Lock Beachum and my church family...miss ya'll like crazy).  We had just had our early morning service and was holding over until the 11:00 service started.  I was in the band area along with Dandrae Rodgers (our drummer) and we were discussing adjustments to the songs that were coming up.  Out of nowhere, Pastor Mike Anderson walked up to us and said something that would forever change my life...He stated the following juggernaut of a quote:

"Don't ever compare yourself to anyone else because there is nobody else who can equate to you.  Why compare yourself something that doesn't even exist in the earth?" 

Pastor Mike Anderson

I'm sure that if we were all honest with ourselves, we would be more than willing to admit that there have been times in our lives where we have felt inadequate and weren't able to measure up when it came to a certain status or task.  I know there are many times I felt as if I was not good enough for certain relationships or even various career aspirations.  

Have you ever wished you were someone else?  For a man, you see the dude with a magic smile and chiseled physique that seems like he can attract the affection of any woman he comes in contact with...  For women, you may find yourself envying the girl with the thin waist, perfect chest extremities and long beautiful hair.....

The fact remains that there is only ONE you on this earth and there was a specific purpose you were created.  Here's where we come to the above subject matter...

There are certain protections in place whenever some form of media (music, books, television broadcasts, etc.) has been created, which in turn prevent them from being duplicated or altered without the author's expressed permission. When something has been copywritten, there are penalties in place if that particular work has been infringed upon.

The same holds true with our individual lives.  During each instance we attempt to become someone else or covet their lives, we invoke penalties within us that are hard to overcome.  The greatest defeat we end up facing is the loss of our own identity.  Some of the greatest tragedies involve those who died and never was able to fulfill their full purpose and identity.

Embrace the royalty that has been implanted into you.  You were created with gifts and abilities that are unique to you and you only!  The moment you try to duplicate someone else's contribution, you're only producing a counterfeit product.  

Dare to be different.  You don't have to wear what others wear.  You don't have to look like others look.  If you are either skinny like me or huge like Precious, learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Why live our lives predicated on the responses of others.  By doing that, we are only willingly placing upon ourselves the shackles that are identified as "public opinion." 

 For the first time in my life, I have finally arrived at this place and could care less how anyone feels about it!  By accomplishing this, you will experience the best measure of freedom that will never be able to be explained.

The Silent Assassin

As I sit here and recount the past few years of my life, I can truly say I am blessed to be alive and most important, still in my right mind.  Throughout this past Sunday's church service, I was privy to an inner highlight (and some lowlight) reel of events I had encountered in my most recent past.  I won't go into the specifics but it's safe to say that there are some major lessons I have learned from them all.

There is one lesson of which I have learned that sticks out from them all.  In my opinion, it is part of an epidemic that has been running amuck for centuries and even millenniums.  I look at this "disease" as to having the same effect on our spirits that carbon monoxide has on our physical bodies.  The danger of carbon monoxide is the fact that it can be present in a room and you don't even know it.  As a result, you will fall into a deep sleep and consequently, slip into death...

The ailment I am alluding to is unforgiveness.  Even as I type the word, it's coming across as an error.  In my mind I believe that's because it's a word that should not even be present in our vernacular.  Here are a few definitions of the term...

Forgiveness 

1. to grant pardon for or remission (an offense, debt, etc.), absolve 

2. to cease to feel resentment against 

3. to cancel an indebtedness or liability

As we continue to reflect on this term, I'm discovering that the easiest thing to do in a situation where forgiveness is an option is assume the role as a victim.  Whenever we do that, we in turn are transferring power to the individual(s) who have wronged us. As a result, we are not able to operate in any level near full capacity because so much of the virtue we need has evaporated.

I can recount several instances of my life where I have been hurt to the absolute core.  There's some unmentionable things I have had to endure and they have in the past caused me to slip into depression, of which I still find myself in constant battle.  I also acknowledge the role my decisions have played into being in the situations that brought about some of those things.  This brings me to the two most important areas of forgiveness...

Forgiving others:

As I previously stated, harboring unforgiveness in us does nothing but give the power to that person who hurt us.  I am quite sure there are many instances that while we are up all night pissed at a certain individual, stressed at the point of not being able to lay down without shaking, they are fast asleep and probably even have slobber coming from their mouths.  Some years back, I used always tell the youth in my Sunday School class to not allow anyone to become your puppet master, and that applies here.  

The craziest thing to me is the fact that many times while we are absolutely ticked at them, they aren't even thinking about us, nor do they even remember the offense against you. I  have discovered that forgiveness is not for them, but for you to be free.  Once again, it comes back to the invisible gas that is present, which in turn is slowly killing you.  Unforgiveness has a negative impact on our physical health as well.  It's time for us all to go through an intense emotional detox so we can release these poisons within us and move forward.

Forgiving yourself:

This is the area where I have had to grow the most.  I am very quick to forgive others, but have the toughest time forgiving myself.  I have made some of the DUMBEST decisions in my lifetime and have gotten myself in quite a few regrettable situations.  Yet, in order for me to reach the next level, I have had to learn to forgive myself.  

The previous blog talked about "Friendly Fire" and how we can be so tough on ourselves and as a result commit internal suicide.  There's nothing that you have done that is so bad that you cannot be forgiven for.  It's times like this where we need TRUE friends and family, of whom we can turn to the most.  I am blessed with a few close friends who I can be transparent with and they will tell me the absolute truth about myself.  Yet, at the end of the day, the final verdict remain with me.

All in all, as much as many of us want to claim independence and a great measure, we cannot truly obtain it while harboring these feelings of unforgiveness in us.  Unforgiveness is the seed that brings about feelings such as hatred, bitterness, envy, spite, etc.  As much as we profess things such as "F*** all my haters..." and so much other nonsense, take the time to look within and see if you are in fact your biggest hater.

This is a journey we are all on, yet we must come to an understanding of how to learn from the past mistakes and enjoy this ride!

Friendly Fire

"Whenever I want to have a good look at my biggest enemy, I walk in front of the mirror." 

- Rev. Dr. Ernest F. E. Rheins

In my mind, there's no greater man to have ever walked the face of this earth than my beloved Granddad/Father, the late Pastor E.F.E. Rheins.  I'll never be able to fully put into words how much it meant to have a man pour the amount of time and wisdom that he did into me.  There are so many nuggets of truth he used to always say, of which I'm sure many will be mentioned in future blogs.  As I have been reflecting over my life the past few days, this particular quote has truly stood out to me.  I never truly understood the true fullness of this phrase until I became an adult and faced real-life issues.

As I look through various posts by way of social media, listen to various conversations, or even during instances where I am an active participant in a one-on-one moment of dialogue, one thing that remains true is we (myself included) have the propensity to blame our shortcomings and faults on either the people or circumstances surrounding us.

It's very convenient to point the finger at others for the mistakes that we have made.  However, true strength is exhibited when we are able to take moments of introspection in order to find the things within us that need the most attention.  If someone has made you mad to the point where you are going off on Facebook tirades, cussing out everything/everyone including the dog, and slashing tires, there must be something within you that is so easily stirred up by feelings of anger.  

I have finally arrived to the point in my life where I am more inclined to look within when circumstances get tough, versus being so quick to deflect the attention from my own shortcomings.  However, this is where our subject matter comes into play.....

In the course of battle, we as well as those around us are forced to chose a side to fight on.  The term "friendly fire" becomes a factor whenever you in a battle and are struck by those who are on your team and in turn trust the most.  It's a sad testimony when you have to endure battles with an enemy, while also having to watch your back for those we deem as our friends.

In the same vein, we can be our own worst enemy in regards to being very hard on ourselves.  I personally am the first to declare war within myself, therefore my inner-me is truly forced to be my enemy.  I have truly had to to learn how to prevent myself from committing emotional suicide.  There are ways we can assess the things we can become better at without damning ourselves because of a decision we've made, or an emotion we are experiencing in that present moment.

Take the time to speak life into yourself and keep the narrative of YOU positive.  There are already enough shots being fired in your direction, why add more?  Our words are powerful and have the consequence of life or death attached to them.  Even if you don't feel like you're worth anything, tell yourself that you're an amazing man/woman.  When you are weak, say to yourself "I am strong." If the way your checking account is set up include a balance that shows "$1.24" start declaring that you are rich and debt free.  Some may deem it a false sense of security...I argue it's a faith-filled assessment of what is to be.  

You will come out...You will be set free, no matter what the odds are or what the naysayers say.  Don't let yourself be counted amongst the naysayers

The Illusion Named Impossibility

Illusion - something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality; an instance of being deceived

Impossible - unable to be, exist, happen, performed, effected, etc.; incapable of being true, as a rumor.

We are all taking part in a cyclical phenomenon that we know as LIFE.  As pointed out in a previous blog entry, there are several seasons that we have to endure.  I am one who used to always encourage those around me to fight through their various storms and not give up because they will come out on top (and a whole lot of other motivational anecdotes as well).  It's easy to make statements like that when things are seemingly going great in your life. Yet, there's something about being on the other end of the lecturer's podium, when one must endure those seasons for themselves.

LIFE has a way of presenting us scenarios where we feel like we are in a desert-place. A desert is depicted as a place of no hope, no help and limited/no resources.  There's seemingly no chance of survival.  There is the venue where depression and hopelessness are called in like they're hotel managers to ensure that our stay is "comfortable." I used that term mostly because it's very convenient to stay in a certain state, but it takes pure willpower to fight one's way out.

Throughout the deserted experience, we have to face the various tricks that our minds play on us due to a lack of it being nourished.  We are presented certain illusions of being in a better state, which are otherwise known as a mirage.  A mirage doesn't have any power, substance or reality, that is unless your mind to convince you that it does.

The intricacies of the human mind are so vast and complex to where we do not realize how much power we possess. We are truly governed merely by what we choose to think and believe.  The awesome thing about our  mind is that it represents 3% of our body's weight, yet it uses 20% of its energy.  There's no bodily activity that can take place without first having express authorization from our mind.

What I'm trying to say is it's time to change the way we think and stop placing unnecessary limits on ourselves.  It's easy and convenient to say things such as, "Nobody will ever love me...", "My dreams will never come true...", "I have a desire to go back to school but it's impossible...", "I have a dream to start my own business but nobody will ever support it..." In response to all of those, I say eliminate the thought that anything is impossible for you.

We are only as strong as the limits we place on our lives.  If you have a dream, go full blast towards making it a reality. I think the penalty of possible "failure" is much less than the guilt of never trying.  If you just can't seem to get over the proverbial hump, keep fighting and don't give up.

A major part of obtaining the nourishment to get us through our desert place is finding the right company of people to associate ourselves with. Many times we tend to open up and be vulnerable around people who don't truly have our best interests at heart.  However, that's a subject matter for another day.

If it seems like I'm coming from a perspective of having it all going on, it's quite the opposite. I am currently in that desert place, but I refuse to succumb to any mirage that is designed to make me give up.  You can make it. You are a survivor.  You have already surpassed conqueror status...Keep going, because the greatest trials are nothing but a prelude to a phenomenal comeback!  As I encourage you, these words are being applied in my life as well...

Stay encouraged...

Prisoner of the Moment

Those who know me the best are aware of my insatiable desire for sports.  My attention can be arrested when it comes to virtually anything that involves competition. In the great state of OHIO, we are in great anticipation for tonight's National Championship game between our beloved (The) Ohio State Buckeyes and the University of Oregon's Ducks. 

I'm one who loves commentary and various insights into the hidden keys of the game and I enjoy various analysis.  One TV/Podcast show that I have followed in depth is named "ESPN's First Take" featuring Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith and the absolutely stunning Cari Champion. This brings me to the source of today's subject matter...

Skip Bayless years back introduced a term to many of us which is entitled "Prisoner of the Moment." Here's the exact definition of the term:

Prisoner of the Moment: the state where an opinion is based on things that are happening right now without any real regard for what happened before or what may happen after.

The way Mr. Bayless invoked the term dealt with the propensity for a sports fan to be caught up in either the nostalgia of a great victory, or the agony of defeat, while neglecting to view the big picture surrounding the totality of the events.  For instance, whether my Buckeyes win or lose tonight, the narrative will still remain that this is a young team that overachieved and overcame so many obstacles to get to the place they dreamed of. Many people said it was impossible for them to be at this point, but now their opinions have been humbled.

Please don't allow your appetite for success to be based solely upon "proving the haters wrong." The days are over where we live our lives from the lenses of others' perception(s) of us.  While you are up all night worrying about your next move, they are in the bed snoring with slobber coming from their mouths (bad visual, I get it lol).

Don't become a prisoner of the moment, no matter what your present circumstance is. If you are going through a storm, just know that you will be able to pull yourself out with constant faith and determination.  If things are going completely right and nothing can possibly go wrong right now, don't become prisoner of that success either.  Here's a powerful quote from Pastor Keith Troy's (New Salem Baptist Church - Columbus, Ohio)  message yesterday entitled "Delay By Design."

"Success if misused can turn into a drug that causes 

us to get complacent and content, resulting in us just settling"

All in all, whatever you may be going through, whether it's the peak of the mountain or the lowest point of the valley, never lose sight of the big picture.  Your dreams and goals can still come true.  The doors to the prison door are already unlocked, yet why must we refuse to exit.  It's very convenient to remain in the state we are.  Depression and dejection are nothing short of false senses of security, as are arrogance and complacency.  I believe in the power within you to break out and break forth towards making all your goals and aspirations a reality.  Break free today or continue to be bound...the choice is yours!

The Audacity of Fear

Audacity - boldness or daring, especially with confident or 

arrogant disregard for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restriction.

Fear - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., 

whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid of.

What exactly are you truly afraid of?  What is that one hurdle you just cannot seem to get over?  What is that emotional nuisance that keeps you up throughout the night, that you seemingly cannot conquer? What is really causing you to give up on the dreams and visions you have for your future?

One of the most quoted and renowned quotes regarding "Fear" came from President Franklin D. Roosevelt during his first Inaugural address. He boldly stated that "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." From that quote, I maintain that fear is the true personification of evil versus just a pure emotion, but I'll get to that later. Here's another excerpt from that same speech that I don't think many have ever heard:

"Yet our distress comes from no failure of substance. We are stricken by no plague of locusts. Compared with the perils which our forefathers conquered because they believed and were not afraid, we have still much to be thankful for. Nature still offers her bounty and human efforts have multiplied it....Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort...These dark days will be worth all they cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be ministered unto, but to minister to ourselves and to our fellow men."

This speech was given on March 4, 1933, during a time when this country is at possibly its' lowest point, "The Great Depression."

I think that this same message still applies to us almost 82 years later when it applies to our individual lives.  Just like the quarterly segments of our calendar, our lives operate in periods of time that we refer to as "Seasons." I can relate to times of great happiness, while I can definitely attest to the perils of a great hole of depression. So the focus of this is how do I overcome fear?

As I stated above, I believe that Fear is merely not an emotion...it is a person. I also believe the same thing about Joy as well. Fear is not just something that you fear, but rather a living being which comes and take over the remote control of our very existence. Which person will you allow to operate in your life? The thing about Fear is that he will come in without your permission. That's where the "Audacity" definition from above apply to our lives. Fear is arrogant, has no regard for your safety or sanity and operates without restriction. Fear keeps us in a hostage situation where Joy has no power to negotiate us out of.  We have to willingly let Joy reign in our lives.

All in all, we control our own destiny and it's a matter of which of these two we will invite to influence our lives.  I am dealing with my own personal battles where hope has been lost, but yet I am fighting for my joy. Fear will never let go of you, you have to wrestle yourself away from it and crush its' neck. I don't know about you, but I am not going to allow anyone to assume any control over my life and go against the dreams and goals I have envisioned for my life.

You hold the power...stop declaring yourself powerless. You've got this, lives are counting on you!