Irreconciliable Differences

As I sit here and write this, I am literally counting down the end to my 31st year of life.  It's safe to say that this has literally been the worst 365-day interval my life has ever experienced.  I won't go into details because it would be a waste of time to even recount the various instances where heartbreak and broken promises seemingly became a daily norm.  I am not one who enjoy being the guest-of-honor at pity parties, and this will definitely not be one of those posts where the entire "Woe is me" phenomenon takes place...It's actually quite the opposite.

The tears of utter frustration and the bitter feeling of failure seemingly just tried to overwhelm me.  Yet, I was able to fight back and not succumb to them.  I think we are oftentimes stuck in a gap of time where we are not sure what exact state is.  It's the battle of who we know we are versus what our current conditions are...

Perception (Perceive) 

• to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses
• to recognize, discern, envision or understand.

Reality 

• something that exists independently of ideas concerning it, and of all other things from which they derive

I look at Perception and Reality in terms of a married couple within us.  For sake of argument and my own interpretation, we will cast perception in the female sense and reality as a male...  

Perception deals more with the mental interpretation of who you are and whatever circumstance you are in.  Reality deals with the facts that are laid out before us in black and white.  

Perception is the defense lawyer in the courtroom who relies on circumstantial evidence in an attempt to ensure their client's acquittal.  Reality is the prosecutor, who has bags and bags of evidence laid out on the table, along with various charts attempting to prove your guilt.

The question in my mind is what happens when both sides are actually correct?  Here's the evidence in my own life (I don't mind being transparent).

I am perceived to be bright, intelligent, gifted in various aspects, well-spoken, respectful towards everyone around me, and so giving to the point where I've set back my own life in order to ensure someone else made it through a difficult situation...

Reality states that I've been struggling to find a good sufficient and sustaining career path, I do not have a degree, I've lost just about everything that was precious to me, I'm living with family until I get back on my feet, a non-ending fight with depression, a fear of rejection...and the list goes on.

In my mind, the fact of the matter is Mr. Reality and Mrs. Perception are once again both correct.  But as you can see there are so many differences in opinion.  The easiest thing is to let them go their separate ways and file for emotional and internal divorce, but we cannot let that happen.  The question is how can we remarry the two so that the individual isn't left in limbo and being pulled in two separate directions.  Why place ourselves in a position to need cognitive child support...These are differences that can in fact be reconciled to help one fulfill the purpose in their life.

To me, the answer is to simply take absolute control of your life.  That begins with taking full responsibility for all past transgressions and bad decisions (versus blaming everyone else) and like the previous post ("What That Mouth Do") illustrated, continually speak positive things into yourself.  I believe that we can sometimes make our internal battle much larger than it actually has to be.  If we are not careful we can either allow ourselves to fall into an unnecessary abyss when things aren't going so well.  Conversely, we can allow ourselves to fall into a false sense of security when things are seemingly going right.

Proper prospective is everything.  Things are not as bad as they may seem.  You are more than likely more close to breaking through than you really realize.  Why turn back now?  You've come too far to give up.  Keep hacking at your dreams...Hell, keep dreaming!  At the same time, have a plan in place to make ensure your dreams in fact become reality.  One thing about perception and reality is that we have the ability to change both!

Oh by the way, it's my birthday now!  What better day to start rekindling the fire than today?